How do you motivate?

My psychologist says I have the motivation within myself to lose weight and get healthy. I don't know where it is though because I try and I try and I can't seem to find it. I normally start and then never keep going so right now I am afraid to even try. How frustrating. My house is a pig sty and it is driving me nuts. I am still worried about not having enough observation hours to student teach, but I am afraid to actually count them and know for sure. I have been doing good emotionally and now I am just a mess. It is a bad time I guess because my body is back to normal girl things, so maybe that is it, but I don't know why I am so frustrated and moody. I'm stressed, tired, and annoyed with a lot of things. I'm ranting and really don't know why. I really hope I win Powerball tonight so I can just pay someone to come clean my house and then stop stressing about bills. Money won't cure it all though. I feel like I need a drink, but I know now would be a bad time to have a drink. We'll see. I need to work on homework, but I think I am totally past the point of being able to concentrate, especially on something like social studies and the American Revolution which is what my group's presentation is about next week. I think I have decided I want an Apple laptop or whatever Mac's are called because there is great stuff for education, but I totally can't afford one, so all I have is my lovely desktop. Hmm, pity party tonight I guess. I hate it when I get like this, but then I never know how to stop until I sleep it off and move on. Ok, will stop ranting now.